My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
