Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
