I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
