He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
