An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
