Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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