Whatcha textin bout Willis?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
