How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
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i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I party with great urgency now.
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