Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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