I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
