Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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