A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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