I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
