Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
