Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
