Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
