That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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