Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
