I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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