And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
