Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
