Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
