its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
where are my eyebrows?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
