i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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