margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
