fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
