I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
