she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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