they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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