So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
