4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
