Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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