They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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