So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
