Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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