They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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