Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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