I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
