I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Every concussion has its silver lining
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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