U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
