This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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