planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize