I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
