Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
