How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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