i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
