If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
