I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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