4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
