As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
