Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize