Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
