Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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