toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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