Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
