Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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