Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
