yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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