Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
