I will die if light touches me.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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